From Mother to Daughter

From mother to daughter is a proposal for a rite of passage for girls, focusing on their empowerment so they can continue honoring what they carry in their heart and connecting with their intuition throughout adolescence, which will become increasingly important in this new stage of life.

 

We work within the frame of mother-daughter relationship – undoubtedly for most girls, the strongest bond they have; a bond that also connects them with the axis of their entire feminine ancestry – strengthening it. We reinforce this bond when the mother ritually hands a small gift to her daughter, who is then apt to take a firmer hold of her own feminine nature. This gift is given as a blessing from feminine intuition itself. Intuition needs to become more and more present so that the girl can make the right choices, especially in the realm of her own sexuality. (We are well aware of how much teenage pregnancy has become a social problem, even in the social strata of greater buying power, and one of the results of prenatal education is a worldwide reduction of this index.)

 

First stage: Preparing the Mothers

The project consists of two stages: the first is a meeting with the mothers, where we explain to them the importance of such beautiful moment and we bring a fairy tale to enlighten this. In this story, the mother, on her deathbed, blesses her daughter and gives her a gift (intuition), which will guide her through the difficult paths she will have to tread from then on.

 

We also explain the importance of menstrual blood, which can and should be consecrated to the beings of light, because when this precious bodily fluid is not consecrated, it remains available to all sorts of astral entities; as to the luminous ones, they only come when invited, thus the importance of being aware of the importance of such an invitation. The non-consecration of the blood, and its consequent use by undesirable beings, leave the woman feeling very tired.

 

As they were considered “impure,” Moses ordered that menstruating women be isolated, however the impurity did not come from them, but from these beings of low consciousness who accompanied them during their menses.

 

This conscious invitation to the beings of light and the consecration of menstrual blood, which comes out with the non-fertilized egg, will remain recorded and well put to use during pregnancy, a time in which the impregnation that takes place through conscious imagination helps strengthening and selecting the best genes from the baby's genetic code. Menarche’s blood, the one from a girl’s first menstruation, is very important. It can be collected and poured in the backyard, as a demarcation of a psychic (and physical) territory for this new woman who is being born. We can suggest gifts for each mother to give to her daughter, and thus increase the connection with the blood, vehicle of the soul.

 

A suggestion is the menstrual cup or the good old cloth, which got a new look: reusable cloth pads (made of 100% natural fibers, with no chemicals and easy to wash when we follow instructions). This can become a monthly ritual in a woman's life. According to a legend, when women stopped giving their menstrual blood to the earth, wars raged, as the soil needs blood to fertilize itself. So let it be menstrual blood, which will be shed one way or another – if society allows it, considering the contraceptive methods that block menstruation, calling it “useless bleeding,” ignoring not only the importance of cycles, but also the powerful CLEANSING of physical and psychic toxins that takes place with the shedding of menstrual blood. And it's not just about blood, because in order for it to come, ovulation has previously occurred (the “white thread,” almost imperceptible, counterpoint to the menstruation “red thread”). Both connect us to the earth. Here we can suggest associating ovulation with some creative project, something we want to fertilize, thus accustoming the young woman to perceive when her own body is ovulating and to consciously conceive something. Then one day, when she’ll be conceiving a child, the greater the chances will be that such conception is the result of a soul choice and not an accident...

 

The mother can also make a moon calendar for her daughter, connect with the moon phases, start observing the moon and reconnect with her ancestry, in order to bring this menstrual knowledge to her daughter. Most native tribes use full moon rituals to heal their women’s gynecological problems and fertility disorders. With this calendar it is easy to realize that when a woman ovulates on the full moon, she will menstruate on the new moon, and so on. It may seem obvious, but many women lack instruction on the subject.

 

The mother can also make a moon phases calendar for her daughter. For this, she can connect with the moon, start observing the moon and reconnect with her ancestry, in order to bring this cyclical knowledge to her daughter. Most native tribes use full moon rituals to heal gynecological problems and fertility disorders in their women. With such a calendar it is easy to see that if a woman ovulates on the full moon, she will menstruate on the new moon, and so on. It seems obvious, but many women have not received any instruction on how their menses are naturally related to the moon phases. During this preparatory meeting, we share thoughts, and the mothers begin to sew a cloth doll for their daughter, each of them adding to it her best intentions and blessings.

 

Second Stage: Meeting of mothers and daughters

The same fairy tale is brought in this second stage, while mothers and daughters take part in some kind of activity, working with arts and crafts, without openly sharing the fairytale‘s occult meaning – same regarding the deeper meaning of the artwork passed on to the girls.

 

This knowledge is present, yes, in the adult women’s consciousness, as they pass on their blessings to the girls. It is important to emphasize that at this stage we do not mention to the girls anything explicit about menstruation (11-12 years old), because many have not yet had menarche, and a ritual just for girls, which would distinguish those who already have menstruated from those who have not, could speed up the process in those who have not yet reached this stage. It is important that all the girls receive their mother's blessings, as at their age they begin sensing that they are “losing” part of their childhood, which is being left further and further behind. And we need to fill that gap with something of value that will accompany them from then on and honor the women they will become.

 

Filling this gap is the very intent of this rite of passage “From mother to daughter”: during a whole morning the mothers take care of their daughters, offering them their very best, so that in the future they will not complain, as in the article by Affonso Romano de Sant'Anna, “Before they grow up,” about the fact that children grow up so fast that we don’t even notice the changes in them.

 

This meeting is a break from the daily hustle and bustle, to look at our children and realize how they have grown up, but how they still need an adult around, present and with an eye on the transformations happening in them, understanding and honoring something greater behind the physical changes. Later, when the girls will have menstruated, a more specific ritual can be performed. Ancient traditions offer many suggestions, but we can create our own rituals or even have a silent celebration with our daughters.

 

Tereza Halliday, a Brazilian journalist and poet from Pernambuco, suggests in her book entitled “Celebrações” (celebrations) to draw three concentric circles on the floor so all the elderly, the women and girls “of the tribe” can be included. The first circle is formed by those who still haven't menstruated, the second circle is formed by the women of childbearing age and the third circle is formed by those who have already gone through menopause – the wise women of the tribe.

 

This ritual gives a dimension of the cycle of life and how everything is fine once each one occupies its place. During the ritual, the girls who had their menarche that month move on to the next circle and those who entered menopause also change circles.

 

Rituals can help us to go through the stages of life – whichever the stage – and to integrate the event in its own time, so that there are not to leave unresolved issues behind, which so often hinders the possibility of living the gift of life.

by Carla Machado